the closer you look the faster I disappear

If I know myself the same way you want to know me I'll end up knowing nothing.
The difference between knowing and dissecting is in how you talk about it afterward.
Or don't say anything actually. Please.

Words and phrases to look out for this year: critical, body, locate, digital, research,
render, architecture, queer, landscape, symposium, decolonial, diaspora, praxis, space,
extend, radical, excited to share.

I came of age in a time and place when those around me were afraid to be known as
bigoted. Afraid to say the n-word or homophobic slurs, to out their parents as racists or
ask where I'm from without context. Clumsy mistakes that college-educated America
has become adept enough at avoiding in public.

In daily life I find myself most affected by another form, maybe the most pervasive and
least acknowledged. It has roots in fetishism, a term whose discursive home in
psychoanalysis and communist theory feels far from sexual practice, though remains
unique in giving logic to obscured everyday violence.

I'm sorry for going by they. I'm sorry for going by queer. Didn't we discuss this? We
acclimate to our awareness of thicker air without realizing. There is active fetishism and
more subconscious forms, like not knowing how to grasp difference without reverting to

Wanna go in on a family plan or let me join yours? I shrieked at "prisoner of context." I
keep squinting. I tried but the truth is I can't unironically say the word ancestors

Fuckboy or does he just not use question marks? We were talking about encyclopedias
and he interrupted saying—but aren't encyclopedias the most white supremacist kind of

I guess it's time I stop blaming colonialism for not having a therapist?

The thing about that meth article in Now Toronto ... just write an article promoting harm
reduction across the board? Stop trying to make meth happen.

Self tokenization rarely lasts beyond the moment it took advantage of. I cited you in a
stylized way but it still looked kinda precious and I don't want this to be sugary.
Just made up with my final enemy at the gym. I now have 0 enemies.

It is neither romance nor nostalgia to say that violence was once easy to identify. When
I stray from the mango tree spiral I'm told it's too abstract. I really wanna get it but it's
just like, what are you saying?

Shey is "she" and "they" combined. Remember that time I invented queer theory? We
love when structural analysis gets weaponized against specific people in ways that don't
make sense.

Falling asleep is my most salient identity. How many words should I make up to be
taken seriously? If the door was the trap then I'm stuck here in the frame, howling.